Earlier last week, Aubrey Plaza essentially announced to the world that she is married to her partner for over a decade. While this shocked and surprised many fans, it also caused a resurgence of biphobia around a bisexual woman marrying a man.
“So proud of my darling husband @jeffbaena for dreaming up another film that takes us to italia to cause some more trouble…” Plaza wrote.
The couple has been together for almost a decade, so it truly shouldn’t have come as any surprise that they got married at some point. Jeff Baena lives a much more private life, which Plaza clearly respects, and doesn’t post about him often. However, they have been seen walking red carpets together and working alongside one another for various projects. The overwhelming response of fans being sad that Plaza is married is a little uncalled for, but the discourse surrounding her sexuality was even more uncalled for.
Plaza came out some time ago as bisexual, and has become somewhat of an icon for bisexual women everywhere. Once she announced that she was married to a man, people began to question her sexuality entirely. Despite the fact that bisexual means being attracted to women and men, but we digress. While details of Plaza’s sexuality really are none of our business, and it’s a common occurrence for a bisexual woman to be married to a man, Twitter did not seem to be too thrilled about it.
“Even though Aubrey Plaza married a man, her relationship with Elizabeth Olsen will always be superior,” a Twitter user said.
“Just found out Aubrey Plaza is married to a man so now I’m going to perform a self-execution!” Macy Jean said on Twitter.
Relax, Twitter police. Plaza has been dating this man for TEN YEARS, this is not news. The fact that so many people are devastated over the revelation that a bisexual woman can fall in love with a man, is quite literally, gross. It is extremely objectifying for the Twitter police to be so invested in someone’s sex life that they are completely heartbroken when that person gets married. On one hand, it can be extremely fun to fantasize about being in a relationship with a celebrity you fancy; but it’s another thing entirely to be emotionally devastated when that person is in a relationship with a man. At that point, you are projecting your fantasy onto another person you have never even met, and are in a para-social relationship with them. In other words, let Plaza live her life! She fell in love with a man over a decade ago, married him, and is totally happy. That doesn’t make her any less bisexual.
Plaza falling in love with a man is not a political stunt; falling in love is not something that you do to stick it to the patriarchy, and it shouldn’t be ridiculed when it’s straight-passing. Plaza did not pick a man over a woman, she simply fell in love with someone who loves her back. Chill out, Twitter police, let the woman be happy. Although, many people have come to Plaza’s defense regarding the blatant biphobia in the Twitter-Plaza discourse.
“It’s insane how biphobic some people are when they find out a bi woman married her boyfriend of 10+ years,” Twitter user Jamie Wilson said. “You didn’t ‘lose’ anything, Aubrey plaza just gained a husband. And I wouldn’t be surprised if thats part of the reason she kept her relationship private.”
According to GLAAD, Bisexual erasure or bisexual invisibility is a pervasive problem in which the existence or legitimacy of bisexuality (either in general or in regard to an individual) is questioned or denied outright.
Doesn’t that sound familiar? Plaza posts a photo of herself with her partner of 10 years, talking about a new project they are working on together. Instead of being met with excitement, she is berated and demeaned on Twitter for not being bisexual enough. Plaza was objectified by biphobic people simply because she fell in love with a man, ten years ago. Whew.
Listen, if you want to continue down fantasy lane, just watch Plaza’s kick-ass lesbian AF performance in Happiest Season. She’s played a number of gay characters, in fact, so go nuts. Just remember that in her daily life, Plaza is entitled to live it how she wants to.
We love you Aubrey Plaza! Your sexuality should not be up for judgment or critique by internet weirdos, and you are allowed to take up space as a bisexual woman.
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